Titans Vs Lj
by sabrinaw
Summary: DISCONTINUED! what happens when my lil bro win's a contest to spend a week with the teen titans? will they be able to keep him in control? or will all be lost? starrob bbrae DISCONTINUED!
1. we're done! waaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooo!

**Title: Titans Vs Lj**

**Disclaimers: alas, I don't own teen titans. I offered them three bucks but they turned me down. Go figure?**

**Second disclaimers: has some foul language…….you have been warned.**

**Summary: the city holds a contest in which kids buy some ravioli (sp?) and enter the code in order to win a chance to live with the titans for a week. What happens when my brother, a spoiled, pig-headed, troublesome brat, wins? Will the titans save their selves, and their sanity? Or will lj do what many villains can only ****_dream _of, and cause the teen titans to fall?**

Chapter 1: Wahoo! Finally done!

Cyborg looked at Beast Boy with tired eyes and sighed. Their city was holding this stupid contest in which the winner would be able to stay with the titans for a week. For _three whole months _they had been at it! Typing in names and phone numbers into the computer that would pick out a winner after it was all done.

So that's what he and Cyborg was doing right now; entering names into the database. Beast Boy would call out the name and number, while Cyborg would type them in.

"Brianna Marie Johnson. Phone number is 555-657-5335." (A/n: I don't know whose phone numbers they are, I just made them up. So don't blame me if you decide to give it a try and end up calling some guy in Japan or something )

Cyborg looked at him wearily. "Why the fuck did she put her whole name in there!"

"I don't know! Maybe she was —just—just type the damn thing!"

Sure, their language was a bit…..crude….but they had been going at this for the entire weekend, without sleep! They were a bit cranky, okay?

"Do I put in her middle name too? Or do I just—"

"I don't care! Just type the damn thing already!"

Cyborg rolled his eyes but did as he was told. _Sheesh, bb, pmsin' are we? I knew that datin' raven had to have SOME side affects… but this is ridiculous!_

He typed in the name and waited for bb to fish out another one. In the past weekend, he had seen so many off names…..he and bb nearly laughed their heads off of one….it was a Spanish one or something…..but he was too tired to think of it now….

The sound of keys on the key board clicking was like a lullaby, slowly sending him into a light sleep….

"Dude, don't you **DARE** fall asleep on me! I am not doing this by myself!" yelled a somewhat ticked off bb. Cyborg sighed and opened his eyes up. "Call the next one."

"Emily Lemoyne……"

_Emily Lemoyne……_he silently chanted to himself as he typed in the name. (A/n: I'm gonna skip out on the phone numbers. Don't feel like making up any now…..)

"Mark DuPont….."

_Mark DuPont….._

"Lenny Wayne……"

_Lenny Wayne……………_

"That's it, there aren't any more…."

_That's it there aren't any—_

"What?" Cyborg shouted out. Bb's eyes widen as he realizes what he said.

"We're done. We're done. We're done!"

then in a sing-song voice the boys begin to sing:

"We're done! We're done! So now we're singing this song! We're done; we're done, so now we're singing this song!"

They began laughing uncontrollably, causing the other titans to rush in and wonder what's wrong.

"Titans, what's the trouble!" robin barked out. (A/n: don't ya just hate it when he says that! I know I do….)

bb smiled and said, "we're done! we're finally finished with that stupid contest thing!"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Great. So why don't you two block-heads see who the winner is already?" she asked in her usual emotionless tone. Cyborg sighed and pushed enter.

Winner: Lj Anthony

Address: _blah blach blach………_

Beast Boy and Cyborg gaped at the screen. That was the VERY first name they had typed in! They typed in nearly fifty thousand names for nothing! bb and Cy anime fall

Raven sighed. "I'll go call the parents…."

Robin nodded. "Oh, raven, where's starfire? I haven't seen her since I bought her those new pairs of tennis shoes…."

Raven glares at the boy wonder before smacking him on the head. Hard.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"Go in Starfire's room and you'll find out…."

Starfire's room

Robin opened up her door to find and bruised star with shoes on the wrong feet and the laces were tied to her ankles. He sighed. "I just HAD to buy her those tennis shoes….."

**Hey, I know they first chapter is kind of boring, but then again, the first ones usually are. The next one will be more funny, I promise.**

**Summary for next chapt: you're worst nightmare.**

_**"My son won?"**_

_**Cy nods then begins his speech.**_

_**"Yes. I know you might have a little trouble sending him with us but rest assured—"**_

_**A sleeping bag and book sack come flying at him**_

_**"Are you kidding! Take him! Heck—keep him!"**_

_**Soon the little kid is out and as the door slams, they hear the mother's voice screaming through the door.**_

_**"I'm freeeeeeeeeee! Waaaaaaaaaaaahoooooooooo!"**_

_**All the titans (except raven) gulp. Just what had they gotten themselves into?**_

**RR please!**

**Oh and pairings will be as followed:**

**Star/rob**

**Rae/bb**

**Cy/lj……just kidding! I think I'll leave the last two guys alone. I dunno…..tell me what you think in the reviews!**


	2. your worst nightmare

**Title: Titans Vs Lj**

**Disclaimers: nope! Not mine!**

**Chapt summary: the titans have found out that my lil bro has won. Now they have to go and get him and then bring him back to the tower. Will they survive? Titans! Go!**

**Chapter two: your worst nightmare**

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_Last time_

_

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_

Winner: Lj Anthony

_Address: blah blach blach………_

_Beast Boy and Cyborg gaped at the screen. That was the VERY first name they had typed in! They typed in nearly fifty thousand names for nothing! bb and Cy anime fall_

_Raven sighed. "I'll go call the parents…."_

* * *

Raven came back into the room glaring at the guys. "the phone is disconnected."

Beast boy scratched his head. "that can't be right. I paid the bill last week…." Raven walked over and smacked him one on the head. "not our phone you idiot. The kid's phone."

"oh……" robin rolled his eyes behind his mask, smirking at the two. "are you sure you two are dating? Your acting like a married couple……"

Starfire blinked while cyborg snickered. "well, what are we suppose to do now? We can't all go and get him. What if something happens to the t-tower?"

Robin stood up stretching. "I guess we'll just split up, cyborg. Raven, bb and Cyborg, you guys go get the kid. Starfire and I will stay here and watch the tower."

Beast boy smirked. "alright, but no lip locking while we're gone! I warning you dudes." Raven rolled her eyes before floating out the room. "whatever. Can we go already?"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Down town

Cyborg looked at the piece of paper and then at the street signs. They looked up all the Anthony's in the phone book and had found five. They had checked out all four, so that meant the last one was where the kid was. So all they had to do was get to the kid's house using the street signs, right?

Wrong! They didn't even know where the hell Bluebottom St was! So there they were, walking around down town trying to find the little runt. At last they saw a blue house that was _all the way _down there.

Cyborg sighed and rang the door bell. A middle aged woman with gray streaks in her hair answered the door. "yes? Wait, if this is about that little incident with the fire hose—" "actually, we're the teen titans. Um, we're here to tell you that your son, Lj, won. I know—"

"my son won?" the woman asked.

Cy nods then begins his speech.

"Yes. I know you might have a little trouble sending him with us but rest assured—"

A sleeping bag and book sack come flying at him

"Are you kidding! Take him! Heck—keep him!"

Soon the little kid is out and as the door slams, they hear the mother's voice screaming through the door. "I'm freeeeeeeeeee! Waaaaaaaaaaaahoooooooooo!"

All the titans (except raven) gulp. Just what had they gotten themselves into?

Lj looked up at them and smirked. "hi. I'm Lj, I hope we'll become friends fast." Raven looked over at her team mates. "see? Just a regular kid."

'_Yeah. Mhm. You just remember that when I'm filling your shoes up with shaving cream. mwuhahahahahahha! The teen titans will be pranked or my name isn't Lj the pain! Atleast, that's what my sis says……'_

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**(a/n: my bro, 100. He is such a pain in the arse……..)**

_**C'mon people, I need reviews! So far I only got one! I need reviews from other people!**_

_**K, next chapie. **_

_**Chapter two: what's the password?**_

_**Beast boy sat down on the couch and looked over at lj. His eyes widened. **_

_**"you got the super duper ultra delta game!" **_

_**Lj looked up at the green changeling. "what's it to ya?"**_

_**"let me see it!"**_

_**"no."**_

_**Beast Boy sighed. "please?"**_

_**"nope"**_

_**"please?"**_

_**Lj looked up again and shrugged. "okay."**_

_**Beast Boy watched him play for a few more minutes. **_

_**"well?"**_

_**"well what?"**_

_**Another sigh. "are you gonna let me see it or not?"**_

_**Lj smirked. 'cue phase one.'**_

**Till next time!**


	3. what's the password?

**Title: Titans Vs Lj-chapter three: what's the password?**

**Disclaimers: nope! Nothing, nada, zip! I don't own 'em. I don't even own my lil bro! **

**Summary chapter: beast boy sees Lj playing the _super duper ultra delta game _and asks if he can see it. however, my lil bro has other ideas………**

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Beast boy woke up and looked at his clock. It read seven thirty am. They had been tired from walking around down town all day, so they had decided to hit the sack. Grumbling, he pulled himself out of bed and headed towards the kitchen to make his _ever _so famous tofu breakfast.

He stopped seeing once he got into the living room and saw Lj playing a game boy. His mouth gaped at the small screen. _'no way. I thought the super duper ultra delta game wasn't suppose to be out until like….a month or so……_'

Beast boy sat down on the couch and looked over at Lj. His eyes widened.

"you got the super duper ultra delta game!"

Lj looked up at the green changeling. "what's it to ya?"

"let me see it!"

"no."

Beast Boy sighed. "please?"

"nope"

"please?"

Lj looked up again and shrugged. "okay."

Beast Boy watched him play for a few more minutes.

"well?"

"well what?"

Another sigh. "are you gonna let me see it or not?"

Lj smirked. _'cue phase one.'_

"this game?"-Lj

"yes." -bb

"now?"-Lj

"yes."-bb

"this game?"-Lj

"yes!"-bb

"oh……_now_?"-Lj

"yes!"-bb

"this game?"-Lj

"yes!"- bb

"wait……now!"- Lj

"yes!"-bb

"really?" - Lj

"yes!" -bb

"now?" - Lj

"yes already!" -bb

"okay…."- Lj

"really?" -bb

"heh. No." - Lj

"aw c'mon!" -bb

"what's the password?" - Lj

"please?" -bb

"nope." - Lj

"now?" -bb

"nope." - Lj

"Purple!" -bb

"nope." - Lj

"tofu!" -bb

"are you crazy?" - Lj

thirty minutes later

The titans have been up and are now eating breakfast. Beast boy is getting on Raven's nerves, asking Lj what the password is and trying to guess it. finally, she slammed down her cup and stomped out of the room.

"ALRIGHT I GIVE UP!"

Lj shrugged and went pack to eating his tofu-free pancakes. "'Kay."

Robin sighed. It was getting on his nerves! He too had to figure out what the password is.

"slade?"-rob

"nope."-Lj

"mustard?"-star

"naw-uh"-Lj

"tofu!"-bb

"you said that one already!"-Lj

"meat!"-cy

"nope…."-Lj

THREE MINUTES LATER

"ALRIGHT ALREADY!" Bb yelled. "What _is _the password?"

Lj's eyes widened and he leaned over towards them. Looking both ways before answering.

"you mean you don't know either?"

titans anime fall

"yes!" Lj cheered, pumping his fist in the air. "score! Lj the Pain—one, Titans—zero!"

Lj's eyes widen as he sees the titans glaring at him. "ehehehe…._sorry_?"

throws him in the laundry room

"and don't come out until you do all of it!" robin yells, slamming the door shut.

Lj sighs and looks over at Raven's laundry. _'maybe I should give raven a piece offering. After all…..she is my sister's favorite titan……'_

Smiling happily, he picks up raven's clothes and begins to wash them.

"okay….soap……soap…….soap…." he takes a white bottle with a pink cap and sniffs it. it smells like flowers. "AHA! Soap!"

'_lets see……after I finish these clothes…….I think I'll do something to cyborg……the big lug…'_

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**Did you like it? did you hate it? oh, and the argument really happened, except I was in Lj's place and he was in Beast Boys, and it was a cd he wanted to borrow. Oh, and I own the super duper ultra delta game. Finally! Something I own!**

**More reviews! I need more reviews!**

**Summary for next chapie: Lj's not so peaceful peace offering**

**Lj turns Raven's clothes a certain color and must now face the wrath of a _very _pissed off Raven…**

**Review and let me know if you liked this chapie!**

**Oh, and my response to my few reviewers are below:**

**TitansFan: thanks! Anyway, I feel for your brother situation, but I've got it worse. FOUR brothers NO sisters AND I'm a middle child! Try that on for size….lol….**

**Tauna the tundra wolf: I will be updating as soon as a few people let me know how they feel about this chapie……thanks for reviewing by the way!**

**LostAlone**: **I'm glad I could make you laugh. I didn't think the second one was that funny though…hopefully this one was….**

**LASHAY-ISAAC: thanks! I like where this story is headed too! I hope you'll like next chapie better, because I'm laughing just by _thinking_ of it!**

**UlrichAndYumi4Ever: you mean you haven't read it yet? Lol. Just kidding…thanks for reviewing and please keep reading….I got _Atleast _five more chapters to go.**

**Raven's Brother: well, technically, it's just a few words on the web….so it can't really _go _anywhere…but I get your drift. Lol. **

**If I missed yours, I'm so sorry, but it says I only have these…… **

**RR! **


	4. lj's not so peaceful peace offering

**Title: Titans Vs Lj chapter four: Lj's not so peaceful peace offering**

**Disclaimers: alas, I own nothing :sigh: life is so unfair……Kay! I'm over it now-**

**Second Disclaimers: foul language ahead…..YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED**

**Chapie summary: Lj turns raven's clothes a certain color and has to face the wrath of a _very _pissed off raven….**

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**LJ'S POV**

My eyes widen as I look at Raven's clothes. "she's gonna kill me…."

I gulp and hurriedly fold the clothes. Maybe she won't notice. After all, anyone could have turned her dark blue, depressing outfit to a nice hot pink……right?

So I put her clothes next to her door and flinch as her door opens up, and she looks down at her clothes. Her eyebrow starts to twitch. Funny……she looks just like my sis when she's about to—uh oh. I looked into the face of death and did the only thing a kid could do at a time like this.

"AAAAAAAH!"

I ran.

**END LJ'S POV**

Robin walked out into the living room to see a screaming Lj being chased by a pissed Raven. Lj ran behind him and clutched his leg desperately. "help."

Raven glared at robin. "Robin! Move! I have to kill a certain brat."

The boy wonder looked down at Lj. "what could this kid possibly do to piss you off this much?."

"he dyed my clothes…._pink!"_

He cleared his throat. He hoped what Raven said wasn't true. 'coz if it was….then they were dead….

"Lj……is what Raven says true?"

Lj gulped. "I….well……….it…….just……I didn't…….IT WAS A PEACE OFFERING!"

That set Raven off. "you dyed my clothes pink as a **_peace offering!"_**

Robin winced. "now raven……you can't just kill a little kid."

"give me a good reason why."

"its…….wrong."

Her face stayed the same. Drat! It wasn't good enough….

"it's evil."

Nothing. Well, her eyes narrowed….

"you'll go to jail?" by now he was sweating nervously. Raven narrowed her eyes even more….

"uh….please don't kill me." He squeaked out.

Lj gulped again. "Robin……" he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"what do we do know?"

"well, considering the possibilities…."

FIVE MINUTES LATER

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" the two yelled as Raven came after them, throwing stuff using her powers. Cyborg opened up the door and smirked as he saw a screaming Robin running around in his boxers with a little kid right behind him, soon followed by an angry Raven.

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHITS!"

Cyborg chuckled. "what they do? Walk in on you and bb?"

He instantly paled as Raven turned towards him with murder flashing in her eyes.

'oh shit!'

ONE MINUTE LATER

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" now the line was pretty long. Ahead of it was Robin in white boxers running for his life. Behind him was a red-faced Lj yelling at the him for making it worse and behind _him _was Cyborg yelling at the two idiots ahead of him.

"what the hell did you do to Raven?"

"ask the little brat! He's the one who turned her clothes pink!"

"it was a peeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaace offering! Outta my way!" Lj began running at top speed that all annoying little brothers seem to have (a/n: don't you hate that? Right when your about to beat the crap out of them they take off! Cowards.)

Cyborg groaned and urged his body to move faster. "what were you thinkin'!"

"I was only trying to help!" Lj screeched back.

'oh no. that can only mean one thing….'

"we're gonna die! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Bb and Star's doors slid open and smiled as they saw two titans and an Lj run by. Shrugging, they decided to join them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

By now Raven has caught up and is surprised to see Star and Bb chasing after them too. 'oh well. We can each kill one.' She struggled to catch up to the rest of her friends.

She rounded the corner and….

CRASH! BAM! BOOM!

Raven sat up, swirls in her eyes as she looks around. The others are getting up and looking at each other. robin blinked.

"Star, beast boy, why are you two being chased by Raven?"

The two titans looked at each other before bb spoke up. "chased? Naw, dude, we just thought that it looked like fun."

Finally cyborg spoke up. "fun. Yelling around and screaming like an idiot is fun? You like questions star? Well here's a question for ya. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Raven smirked, standing up and dusting herself off. "well I feel better. Oh and L-Loser, we'll continue this discussion later." She disappeared, leaving the titans alone with Lj.

"whew. Was that close or what?"

The titans all turn and glare down at the smiling Lj. "yeah….close…..like my hand is going to be to your behind!" cy yelled, taking off after Lj. The little boy screeched before running again.

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Robin looked over at the other two titans before shrugging.

"if you can't beat em……"

They began to run after the two, their arms over their heads.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

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**So did you like it? did you hate it? I nearly peed my pants while typing this! Oh, reviews! I need reviews! Reviews by different people! Not that I don't mind hearing from yall, but I like some variety.**

**I thought it was funny and cute……but my friends didn't……they just don't get my sense of humor….odd…….**

**I won't have a Chapt summary 'cause I'm tired and I really don't know what's gonna happen in the next story. I do know that it'll involve peanut butter, an angry cyborg and an amused LJ.**

**I apologize for the long wait on the updating. I know it may not seem long to some, but I usually update my story every day. And one of my reviewers asked if I could lower the swearing. So I went back, removed this chapter and redid a few parts. Now, I realize I still left some swear words in, but that's only because the story really doesn't make sense if without them.**

**Oh and I know Raven is a little (maybe a lot) ooc, but you have to admit……it is funny….**

**And Cy doesn't hate bb or star when he asked 'what the hell is wrong with you' he was just caught up in the moment. And please don't be angry at the reviewer who asked me to lower the swearing, because some people don't feel comfortable reading that stuff. It's okay! No worries!**

**Til next time!**

**R and R please!**


	5. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

**Title: titan's Vs Lj**

**Disclaimers: nope, nada, uh uh, I'm not gonna do it!**

**Cyborg: oh yeah you are! shifts arm into sonic cannon**

**Sabrina: alright already! Sheesh. I don't own the baka titans.**

**Bb: flips through a Japanese dictionary let's see. Baka, baka, baka, baka……**

**Raven: rolling eyes baka means idiot you baka.**

**All the titans (minus raven): WE ARE NOT BAKAS!**

**Sabrina: huffs well ya don't have to yell turns to readers I would like to say, sorry for taking so long to update. I didn't have writer's block….i just….well……I didn't……ya see…**

**Raven: will you just say it already!**

**Sabrina: glares at raven before turning back to her nervous expression well…….i kinda….sorta……a little…….um……how do I say this? It's embarrassing actually……**

**Bb: ooh…..were you with your boyfriend?**

**Sabrina: no……**

**Starfire: oh, I understand! You had an ache of the stomach?**

**Sabrina: no………..**

**Robin: hyper on sugar sladecaughtyouandthreatentokillyouifyoudidntlayoffontheficsforawhileandthenwesavedyouandyouweretoembarrasedtocontinuewiththeficbutnowyourbackandeverythingwillbeokaybutsoonerorlatersladewillcomebustingthroughthatwallandhellbealllikedudeandillbealllikediesladeandthenhe'llrunaway and….and……and….and…..and…..**

**Sabrina: uh…..no……….i……..mumbles something under her breath**

**Cy: sorry, I didn't catch that.**

**Sabrina: I said i…..mumbles something under her breath**

**Raven: you have five seconds to tell us before I kill you**

**Sabrina: well i……**

**Raven: 1……**

**Sabrina: uh……..**

**Raven: ….2…..**

**Sabrina: um…….**

**Raven: ….3…….**

**Sabrina: well….**

**Raven: ……..4…….**

**Sabrina: uh….**

**Raven: FIVE!**

**Sabrina: okay okay! I forgot! **

**titans fall anime style**

**Sabrina: on with the story!**

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Lj looked on and on at the movies that were lined up on the shelves at the video store. After going for six whole hours without being a pain, the titans had decided to have a movie night. Now they were at the video store, looking at movies. Lj would get to choose one, Robin and Star one, Raven one, and Cy and BB one.

**w/bb and cy**

beast boy got up off the floor and glared at Cyborg, who'd just knocked him out of the way to beat some guy from grabbing the last tape of the movie they'd agreed on.

"gee cy, it's nice to see where your loyalty really lies!" he yelled before stomping to go looking for Raven.

Cy blinked and looked over at Lj, who was trying hard not to laugh.

"what I do?" Lj just shook his head as his body shook from silent laughter.

BB was stomping and stopped when some blond hottie caught his eye. He turned his head to look at her** :ahem: **butt.

_CRASH!_

Raven looked down at BB who'd turned to look at something but had not stopped walking. And when a stupid beast boy rams into a strong wall, guess what happens? if you guessed bb gets hurt, you're right.

Robin looked at his team mate and smirked. "please try not to run into things, beast boy. You'll end up breaking them."

"them, what about me!"

"well, I'd have to pay for those……"

_THUMP_

They all looked over at Lj, who was now on the floor, laughing his little heart out. Starfire flew over to him. "please, friend, what has caused you to act in such a manner?"

"cy…..movie….trample…. 'nice to see where your loyalty lies!' …. Then …. Then …. BAM! ... then….then…..then…..AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Starfire looked over towards her friends. "is he….undamaged?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"uh……a few hours ago, I would have said yes but now…."

"BAM! Did, you, see! Just, just, BAM! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"….I'm not so sure." Robin finished, staring at Lj while slowly edging away. "I don't think you should be standing to close to him star……."

Lj stopped for a few seconds, only to start up again. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Starfire started scooting closer to robin. "I do not think so either."

Suddenly he stopped, his face laid down in his arms. Cyborg approached him cautiously. "hey, man, are you okay?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Cy jumped. "I take that as a no…."

LATER AT THE TITAN TOWER

Lj was just about ready to pop in Raven's movie, when the titan alarm went off. He sighed, knowing that the titans would have to go and save the world again.

"hey, robin, can I go with you guys?"

Robin looked down at him before shaking his head. "no, sorry, but it's too dangerous. Besides, we need someone to watch the tower while we're gone."

He left Lj, who in turned glared at him. "does he really think I'm that stupid?"

So he returned to the main room to think of a list of things to bug the titans with. Smirking evilly, he snuck into Star's room, and then into robin's. he kept going back and forth between the two rooms until he was finally satisfied with what he'd done to Robin.

"and I'll get him tomorrow too. Mmmuhahahachokes. Darn! I gotta ask my sis to show me how she does that evil laugh…….when does that restraining order expire again?"

AFTER THE TITANS BEAT UP THE BAD GUYS

Robin poured himself some milk, grabbed a plate of cookies and headed to his bedroom. The door slid open and the view caused two things to happen.

1-for him to spill his cup of milk all over the front of his shirt and

2-for Starfire, who was trailing behind him, to gasp.

There, in his room, hanging off his desk, ceiling fan, bed, ceiling, and dresser, were panties and bras. _Star's _panties and bras.

"Robin?"

He winced, and turned around, seeing the girl of his dreams, staring at him with confused eyes. His face grew hot, and he knew that he was blushing, and that made him blush even more. God how did he wish that the ground would swallow him up right now.

"yes, star?" his voice was very high and squeaky, but that was the least of his worries now.

"what….."

"star, I can explain." he caught a glimpse of a very…..revealing…. undergarment hanging from his ceiling. _I wonder how she looks in it….whoa! bad thoughts, bad thoughts! Where's a cold shower when you need one?_

"robin, if you needed to borrow them, all you had to do was ask."

His face, if possible, grew even hotter, and even more so as he started to gather up the clothes and hand them to star. _Lj, I'm going to hurt you so bad…. SCREW THAT! I'M GONNA KILL YA!_

With that thought, he collapsed on his bed in exhaustion before going to sleep.

MORNING

Robin woke up and moved to stretch his sore muscles to find two things. One, he couldn't move. And two, slade was staring at him! His hands were tied behind his back and his feet were tied to his hands.

"SLADE!"

"quiet….err….boy!"

Robin blinked. Was it his imagination, or did slade's voice seem a tad higher than normal?

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!"

"well, now that I have your attention, I have some very important news to tell you."

He leaned closer towards Robin. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

"Luke…._giggle….._shusha_giggle_hsusha…..I am your father."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT!"

Slade's body fell over, revealing Lj and beast boy, laughing their heads off.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"DID YOU SEE YOUR FACE!" Lj asked. Bb nodded, doubling over in laughter. "you are all like, "slade!" and were are all like, "dude, quiet!" and then you were like "what do you want dude!" and then we were all like……..HAHAHAHAHA!"

But the two fell to noticed that robin was now very free and _very _pissed off.

**

* * *

**

**Sabrina: sorry folks, but I just couldn't put in the violent scene. It would have made _slade _quiver in fear.**

**So very sorry that I didn't update, and I hope you all forgive me. also, I really need some ideas for my next chapie!**

**R&R**

**Ja! (ja means bye in japanese.)  
**


	6. lj has a super power?

Titans Vs Lj

Disclaimers: I don't own the teen titans. Yet. But one day, I shall! I shall travel to-err-where ever it is they're staying and I shall buy them with my three dollars and fifty-two cents!

MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA_CHOKES_

AndthenIshalltakeoverthewordwithmypinkpolkadottedsquirrels now on with the chapter!

CHAPTER SIX

Every titan was pulling their hair out that day. It seemed that Cyborg had foolishly let Lj get into the sugar, and now they were paying the price.

"RAVEN WHERE ARE YOU! I'M TRYING TO FIND YOU BUT ALL I SEE IS DARKNESS! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The dark titan sighed. "try opening up your eyes."

"OH! THANK YOU RAVEN! I AM….UH…….what was I doing again?"

"you were about to go annoy Beast Boy."

Lj blinked and headed off to Beast Boy, who was making a tofu meal.

He sighed before smirking evilly. What better way to get back at bb than to – yes, it was the perfect plot! He pulled out a glass and then a jug of milk. After pouring some in the glass he suddenly tipped it over to the left—and all over beast boy.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! I'VE BEEN CONTAMINATED! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He ran over to the wall and hit a big red button. All the alarms went off at once while he was yelling and screaming. Robin and Starfire came running in and saw a crazy bb, a sleeping cyborg, a glaring Raven and a laughing Lj.

"titans, WHAT is going on here!" robin barked out. Beast boy stopped and glared at Lj. "he- (points at Lj) -decided to be funny and contaminate me with poison!"

They all looked at Lj, but he was now near the sleeping Cyborg with a peanut sandwich in hand.

"CYBORG! CYBORG? CYYYYYYYYYYYYBOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRG!"

The robot/human jumped up. "huh? huh? I'm up, I'm up!"

He looked down at the smiling Lj, who shoved a peanut butter sandwich in his mouth.

Cy began hacking it up, making Lj glare at him.

"IT'S NOT POLITE TO CHOKE WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN!"

He grabbed Bb's glass of soy milk and poured it in Cy's mouth.

"HERE, DRINK THIS!"

Cy was now trying to give himself the Heimlich maneuver and kill Lj at the same time.

"you gave me peanut butter! I'm allergic to peanut butter! I'm gonna die now!"

Tears began building up in Lj's eyes. All the titans flinched. They sensed a tantrum coming…

"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I DUNWAN YOU TO DIE! ITS NOT FAIR! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Robin, Starfire, Raven and Beast Boy tried everything they could think of to make him shut up, while Cyborg's face swelled up to the size of a beach ball and he began pointing at his neck, since his throat had swelled up as well.

"uh….guys….a little help here…."

Lj looked at him and poured some more soy milk down his throat. That only made poor cyborg choke more, but it also caused the swelling to go down and his throat to reopen.

"that **gasp **milk, saved my **gasp **life!" he hugged beast boy tightly. "I swear I'll never make fun of your tofu again!"

NEXT MORNING

"meat!"

"tofu!"

"meat!"

"tofu!"

"MEAT!"

"TOFU!"

"**MEAT!"**

"**TOFU!"**

Lj came running into the room with unnatural speed and stopped at the sight of Cyborg and Beast Boy fighting. He shrugged and picked up a lump of tofu and slipped it in Cy's milk. Cy grabbed the glass took a big gulp and held it up for beast boy to see. "See! This is the real—WHAT THE HELL IS FLOATING IN MY DRINK!"

Lj glared at Beast Boy. "bb I am shocked! To think that you would stoop low enough to try and poison Cy with tofu, that is-that is-that is inhuman!"

Bb gaped at him while Cyborg began shouting.

"I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD STOOP SO LOW BB—"

"but-"

"I MEAN, I KNOW WE TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER THOUSANDS OF TIMES, BUT—"

"I didn't-"

"I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME DIGNITY IN YOU!"

"but it was Lj!"

"oh sure, blame the innocent little kid. That hurts, bb, that really hurts." Lj said sarcastically, eating an apple. Beast boy growled at him.

"ya know, you are so fricken annoying I wouldn't be surprised if this was actually a power you had!"

All the titans' head's jerk up at the same time.

IN THE HOSPITAL WING

"I can't believe it! Beast Boy was right!" robin exclaimed.

Cyborg continued reading the screen.

"okay, it says that he works by finding one's weakness and then making it to where he annoys them so much that they start to freak out and go crazy. The only weakness Lj would have…. is………… authority….like a mom or sister…."

"he'd make the perfect weapon against slade." Raven added. Lj sighs in annoyance.

"I just can't walk up to someone and annoy them! it doesn't work that way! It takes skill, art, creativity and time! And who said that I'd help you guys out anyway?"

Starfire flew up to him with confused eyes.

"you do not wish to assist us? You do not wish to assist me?"

"no, well, yes, no, I—"

"do you not like me? am I that unlikable?"

(okay, imagine a chibi Starfire doing the puppy dog pout with teary eyes)

"no! but I just don't—"

"so you do not wish to assist us because you just do not wish to? Am I really that unpleasant to be a friend with?"

"ALRIGHT, I'LL DO IT ALREADY! JUST STOP MAKING ME FEEL BAD!"

She gave him a tight hug. "I thank you friend! And I shall stop the making of the feeling bad."

He mumbled something back like "air…….star……….air…..need…..air…….let…..go….."

She dropped him to the floor where he laid, twitching slightly. "star……."

"um, yes?"

"RUN!"

Having heard the expression from Raven many times before she 'eeped' took off down the hall way. Lj shot up after her, only to be held back by cyborg. "let it go man. Let it go. She's been doing the same thing to us for years."

Beast boy nods. "and it works every time."

Suddenly the alarm goes off. Robin checks the computer and growls.

"SLADE!"

Beast Boy and Lj start to snicker, recalling a certain prank that they played on a certain boy wonder a certain day ago….

Robin shoots them a look before going back to glaring at the screen.

"alright, Lj, you can ride with Cyborg in the T-car, star you can either fly or ride with me and raven and bb can fly like always. Titans, move!"

Lj sticks his tongue out at him before running after Cyborg.

**Sorry for the long wait on this chapter. If any of you read my inuyasha stories, you know that my mom is being a real _witch – w + b _because she saw my report card and grounded me off the internet. So I'm sneaking into the library. I had all my stories saved on a floppy Tuesday, and I put it into a computer at the library…only to find out that my floppy was screwed up. my reaction?**

**"son of a #$!"**

**Luckily, the librarian didn't hear me…. oh and I'm learning Japanese now! Yay me! ehehehe!**

**And to some of you who felt like this story wasn't enough, seeing how I've waited so long to update again, here are a few cute short stories to keep you entertained. What REALLY happens in my family…**

**Okay, for security reasons, I'm going to have to make up my brothers names. They will be…dumb and Lj. My mom is my mom, and I will be . K? good!**

**I sigh as I look at my big brother, who is looking bored-like at the doctor in front of him. where are we? In the emergency room. why? By brother broke his elbow. How? You don't want to know…well, the doctor is showing us the x-ray, and talking a mile a minute.**

**"…your elbow popped out. So I take it the nurse popped it back in?"**

**"no sir." dumb said. "I did it myself."**

**"what?"**

**"well, I was riding in my car to the hospital, and my pinky wouldn't stop tingling…"**

**"that was the nerve pressing on it."**

**"well, I didn't like it. so I took my arm in between my legs and jerked it back in place."**

**The doctor flinched. "didn't it hurt?"**

**"it hurt like a mother fucker! I was cursing for five minutes straight. But the tingling went away."**

**This one shows what a dumb ass I am at times…**

**We were living in a trailer, and Lj was sitting on the couch, and he wouldn't stop teasing me.**

**" you're so stupid, you're so ugly…" see?**

**So I raised my first and rammed it to his body…and hit the wooden edge of the couch.**

**"#$#$#$&&#$#&$&($$!"**

**I was running around like an idiot, screaming about my hand being broken while Lj was laughing his ass off.**

**dumb came running out of his room and knocked into me, which caused me to fall, and stepped on my hand.**

**"get your fucking foot off my hand you jerk!"**

**He looked down and saw the bluish color and winced. "wow, you should really see a doctor about that. It looks broken."**

**"which is exactly why you should GET OFF IT!"**

**Now Lj was falling off the couch from laughing so hard.**

**Well, after mom came home, and she stopped laughing…which took a while, we finally got me to the doctor. My hand? Well, after it healed, I used it, along with my foot, to kick my brother's fuckin ass!**

**This one shows how brainless my mom can be at some times.**

**We had just moved into our new house, and I was walking to mom's room, when I fell through the floor. "what the fuck?"**

**I pulled myself out and walked into my mom's room. "the kitchen floor is rotten."**

**"I kind of figured that out, this is an old house after all. I'll have to get it fixed later, but for now…"**

**She took a blanket and covered the hole with it.**

**"mom, you're gonna fall in it."**

**"no I'm not, I'll remember where it is."**

**I shrug and make my way carefully over the hole and to the living room to watch some TV. Sure enough, a few hours later…**

_**CRASH! BAM! BOOM!**_

**I look up and see my mom, one leg up in the air, one in the floor. ouch. That looks very painful. I open up my big mouth to tell her off when she glares at me. "one word and your grounded for a month."**

**"c-can I just say something?" I ask shakily.**

**"fine."**

**"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

**That's all for now! if you like my little short stories, let me know and I'll put some at the end of each chapter. Okay, later now, and those things really happened ya know. well, the couch thing might have been a little exaggerated, I only sprained my hand or whatever.**


	7. lj meets slade

Disclaimers: don't own em. That's that.

Lj watched from inside the car as the titans dealt with the robots. Smash, bang, crunch. Over and over again. Man was it boring! Finally, slade showed up. Lj gaped at the man before getting out of the t-car.

"slade!"

Lj glared at Robin. "that's it? that's the reason you dragged me down here? For a stupid man who's afraid of the sun!"

Slade growled. "I am not afraid of the sun."

"then how come you're hiding in the shadows? Huh?" his eyes widened. "are you a vampire?"

"no."

Lj blinked, before noticing his colors. "pink? You dress up in pink? How lame is that?"

"it's orange!"

"and what's with the Dark Vader mouth? How do you eat in that thing? More importantly, how do you go to the bathroom? Is there a trap door?"

"NO!"

Lj and bb began snickering. "you mean you pee on yourself?"

An anime vain appeared on Slade's forehead.

"No! I take off the suit!"

"and I bet you have pink boxers to go with that pink suit."

"IT'S ORANGE!"

"how come you keep goin after robin? huh? Do you like him?"

Robin hid behind Starfire, while Slade growled louder.

"NO! I HATE HIS GUTS!"

"ooo….you like him."

"I DO NOT!"

"you like him a lot."

Slade grabbed Lj by the shirt. Now, most people would be begging for their lives if they were in his position, but not Lj. In fact, he was _laughing._

"why I outta -"

"dude, I can think of plenty things you _outta _do, taking that stick out of your butt bein one of 'em, but that don't mean you gonna do it."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH! I HATE KIDS!"

Lj smiled cheerfully. "you know what they say. The first step is admitting you have a problem."

More short stories!

This one tells just how goofy my mom is.

We were in the living room, and I'm sitting on my bro's computer desk. She slaps my leg and tells me to get down. I roll my eyes before jumping down, only to gape at my mom as she gets on the desk.

"mom you are so…weird."

She blinks. "no. I'm mom. Not weird. Are you feeling okay?"

"uh! Be serious!"

"I don't wanna be serious. I wanna be Sally."

"fine! I'll be George."

She pouts. "why can't I be George?"

"because you're Sally!"

"Well aren't you Mrs. Obvious."

I stomp out of the room, and I hear mom calling up to me.

"ALRIGHT! YOU CAN BE GEORGE! HAPPY?"

This one shows how predictable we can be at times.

Dumb had bought an entertainment center at Wal-Mart, and was setting it up in his room. mom came in and stared at him. brand new entertainment center and he was putting skateboard stickers on it!

"you got it covered in stickers already?"

Dumb glares at her as his friend stupid starts laughing. "that's just what stupid said." I come in from my room a few minutes later and blink.

"you got it covered in stickers already?"

"yall can kiss my ass!"

Mom pops him one. "watch your language you little shit."

"eh, bite me." he mumbles.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"nuttin."

She smirks. "that's what I thought."

A few minutes later, Lj comes in.

"you got it covered in stickers already?"

He growls in aggravation. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? BE OBVIOUS DAY?"

"isn't it obvious?" I deadpan.

"don't be a smart ass." he yells at me.

Silence…and then Lj speaks up.

"her ass is smart?"

I laughed so hard I fell to the floor.

This shows how stupid my fights with dumb's girlfriend, Sissy, can be.

I glare at Sissy in front of me. one thing was obvious. I was pissed.

"how could you do this to me sissy? How could you betray me like this?"

She blinks. "like what?"

I pull at her blue t-shirt.

"BLUE! You're wearing my color!"

"but -"

"I thought we had discussed this sissy. Your color is pink and mine is blue. Now, I am wearing my color, but are you wearing yours? No! you're wearing mine! I can't believe this! You don't see me prancing around, wearing pink, do you? NO!"

"that's because you hate it!"

"exactly! And now, since you've worn my color, its gonna have pink cooties, and unless I go buy some bleach, its gonna stay that way. Thanks to you, my color is contaminated!"

"what the hell are you talking about?"

"I…DON'T…KNOW!"

There ya have it! REVIEW DARNET!

I'm at my friends house, once again, gotta keep the language clean. Which is hard, seeing how every other word that comes out of my mouth is either fuck, damn, shit, or bitch.


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